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Adversity is Inevitable. Support is Essential. Together they build Resilience.
What we know is that we learn resilience and distress tolerance through experiencing hardship – not through avoidance. What we also know is that it’s difficult learn alone.
Surgeon General highlights parents' vital role
How many of you have ever felt burnt out, overwhelmed, inadequate, utterly confused or even at times enraged in your role as a parent? We love our kids so much, and there are times when we are at our wits' end in knowing how to work through challenging times with our children. This can leave us feeling stressed and inadequate -- because what we really want is a harmonious family life, positive relationships and for our kids to be OK.
“The stresses parents and caregivers have today are being passed to children in direct and indirect ways, impacting families and communities across America. Yet in modern society, parenting is often portrayed as a less important, less valued pursuit. Nothing could be further from the truth." So says the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, in his recently published advisory on the mental health & well-being of parents.
The thing is, parenting comes with no instruction manual and raising children is complicated and messy. The work parents do needs to be validated and uplifted. And parents need support. Without healthy children we will not have a healthy society, and without healthy parents, we will not have healthy children.
Read on to learn more about the Surgeon General's advisory and a call to action. You are worth it!
Parenting in the age of distraction
Have you tried writing a text and talking to your kids at the same time? You can’t do either very well. Just like our kids can’t watch Tik Tok and listen to us or do their math homework at the same time.
As Erika Christakis writes in her article in The Atlantic titled “The Dangers of Distracted Parenting”, “time spent on devices is time not spent actively exploring the world and relating to other human beings.” This is true for both parents and children. Think of the opportunities lost.
This means that when we are engrossed by our devices we arent paying attention to those around us — or only paying attention in a half-hearted way. Think of the message you are sending to those around you. Read on!
Need screen time limits? Create a family technology pact
One of the most important jobs we have as parents is to teach our kids the skills they need for when they leave the home. Family agreements, such as those surrounding technology use, are a conduit for such teaching. Developing self control around a device that is designed to fight you in that endeavor every step of the way is not easy. The part of our brain that controls self control is underdeveloped for our younger children, and these skills temporarily diminish during the early teens. Our kids need our support. Read on for ideas on how to create a family technology pact…
Support anxious kids by helping them face their fears
As parents, our natural instinct when our children are afraid is to protect. We want to save them from the thing that is causing the anxiety. Yet, what does “saving” our children from something that is actually safe teach them? It teaches them that this thing is in fact something to be afraid of, something to avoid, and more importantly it is something that they are not capable of handling because the adults in their lives take care of it for them. Read on…
Homework — Who’s work is it?
What does homework time look like in your house? Do your kids sit down and get their homework done without much input from you? Or does it feel like more of a battle?
First it might start with procrastination, jumping up from the table over and over or turning toward digital devices. Our hackles start to rise – so we begin to micromanage, nag, or remind. Our kids then push back and the bickering ensues until it can erupt into the homework wars...